Things Are Happening
1) This week, I started my self-imposed 90-day drawing project. It’s actually going well so far (of course, I’m only 6 days in); I’ve been able to focus, to actually sit down and study light and shapes and colors in images I’ve seen a hundred times before. It’s an interesting learning experience already.
2) I finally emerged from blissful denial and sadly realized I may have to move. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my year alone in this castle, crafting in solitude, sliding down the hall in bunny slippers. But even with the new job, I don’t know if I can support this palace on my own anymore.
I’m very accustomed to controlling all the closet space and DVR settings, so I think I’ll have to keep living solo, but in a more practical, cottage-type dwelling instead. I’m bummed about it, because I have a lot of sweet memories in this giant mansion, but we can always have the beer pong tourney somewhere else. Right now, it’s most important that I can pay rent AND be able to afford to go out in the world and meet people. Enough’s enough.
3) Friday would’ve been my dad’s 60th birthday. I didn’t really tell anyone, since it’s not something you can go around the office talking about. “Hey coworkers, just FYI, I might cry a little at my desk today, but don’t worry about it. I’ll have that report done by 4, no problem.” On most days, I’m fine talking about my dad. And it doesn’t really hurt (anymore) to hear about other people’s dads. But on April 4 and September 6, I’m more prone to sudden tearbursts, so sorry if I avoid any/all conversations. Some years it’s worse than others, and I never know how it will be until the days come around again. This one was a doozie.
With all this in mind, I’ve had a moment of clarity: what my dad would advise is to simply never give up. Keep to commitments (to yourself and others), work hard, and make the best of what you have today. He would tell me to keep drawing, keep writing, but also maybe go outside.
I just have to remember: whatever I do, wherever I live, I am the daughter of a wise father who taught his children to be creative, kind, and silly.
So that’s what I’ll do. That’s who I’ll be.